Humans confuse me.
People want to feel like they’re helping, but they don’t want to actually help.
They want to ask everyone but you what you should need, and then get defensive and abusive when their brand of help actually makes your life harder.
If you want to know what someone needs, ask them. If they can communicate what they need, do what they need you to do.
Respect that the answer may be “I need you to get out of my space.”
If all you can do is not make their life worse, then do that.
Being a decent human is not that complicated.
Helping other people is not about you. If you’re making it about you, maybe work on why that is.
Learning a thing isn’t always fun, but it can help in the long run
It’s amazing to me the things we (as society and individuals) can be ignorant about. Even when we are surrounded by these things daily. Even when they are things we are doing. Things that are making us (or the people we care about, or both) miserable.
A few years ago I had never heard the word ableism and didn’t know what it meant. I didn’t know internalized ableism was a thing or that I was causing myself or others damage by being ableist. I’m still learning about this every day. Learning a thing isn’t always fun, but it can help in the long run.
Today I read an article, Telling Myself the Truth: 5 Strategies for Fighting Internalized Ableism (via autostraddle), and thought “Wow. Yes. This is basically me. This is so good. I should share it.” So there ya go.